out of
It can only be expected to walk into Star Wars: Episode II with a sense of tension. After Episode I turned into a massive tragedy of epic proportions (you won't find many who think it's a good film), fans and non-fans alike hoped for the best with Episode II. The poorly titled Attack of the Clones starts out very well, and the memories of fun and excitement from watching the first trilogy come flooding back. Alas, it is sad for me to report--Star Wars: Attack of the Clones is a big huge spectacle and a big huge waste of time.
Perhaps this is overstating things a bit. There are definitely thirty minutes of excitement in this movie. There are thirty minutes where the spirit, energy, and enjoyment of the first three films is back in force. There is more here to enjoy than there was in Episode I. But overall, there's an amazing amount of pointless exposition here. For those who have kept up with the Star Wars storyline, a massive amount of detail and story will have to transpire before Episode IV is even possible. That Episode II has so little story is astonishing. Not only that, the film is too complex (it's hard to imagine a movie with little story being complex, but George Lucas did just that). For an hour and forty five minutes, we are privy to people talking to each other. They talk about problems with the Senate, they talk about democracy, they talk about wars brewing, and they talk about prohibited love. Thirty minutes in, you pray someone pulls a light saber out to do some serious ass-kicking.
But they don't. They talk some more. And then they talk about things they've already talked about. In its first hour, there is one action sequence--just one! Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) and Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen, a vast improvement over Jake Lloyd) engage in an exciting chase scene throughout a massive urban city. And despite the excitement of the scene, we already saw it done in The Fifth Element years ago. For the visionary that George Lucas once was, he's now given to copying other (and better) movies. It's rather disappointing, really.
Star Wars: Attack of the Clones basically tells the story of Anakin and his initial turn towards the dark side. It also concerns the budding romance between Anakin and Padme (Natalie Portman). And last but not least, it deals with the revelation of an army of clones, and the impending clone wars. What's truly strange about the movie is that it constantly places its heroes and heroines in jeopardy, apparently assuming we'll be sweating with suspense. Since we all know the outcome of the story, suspense is only derived in our anticipation of what is to come. We know Padme and Anakin can't die yet--yet Lucas apparently thinks we'll be gripping our seat as they jump around a factory (a la "Super Mario Bros."). Lucas makes a fatal mistake here, trying for suspense rather than all-out action.
On the positive side, Lucas has vastly forwarded the digital filmmaking movement with his movie. Filming with Sony cameras specially made for him, Lucas captures some awe-inspiring pictures. The digital camera is a perfectly acceptable alternative to film--and in some ways, looks better. The clear image is astonishing, particularly during scenes filmed outside of a green screen. Frankly, it's a beautiful looking motion picture. Even the CGI cityscapes are impressive. Whereas Episode I was filled to the brim with annoying and ugly CGI, Episode II captures the realism of even the most CGI moments. While at times the CGI defies all logic (such as a spaceship with wind-resistance sails) and some images are fuzzy (probably due to the digital-to-film transfer), it's so gorgeously rendered, you can't help but not care (it should be noted that despite the massive amounts of CGI here, the similarly CGI-derived Final Fantasy has more impressive effects while still maintaining the awe of originality).
Visual effects, as the cliche goes, do not a movie make. And despite the gorgeous CGI, there's an empty vapidness to the film. The screenplay, by Lucas and Jonathan Hales, is so lifeless and dull, you might be checking your watch more than once. Many complaints have already been cried over the dialogue, and it's not without merit. The dialogue is some of the worst I've ever heard from a major motion picture. Most notable is Anakin's comparison of sand to Padme, C-3PO's numerous bad puns, and Kenobi's insistence that Anakin could end up being the death of him. The dialogue isn't the only problem--the whole story in Episode II seems more like filler than anything. For fans, you may be able to scrounge up some enjoyment in watching what transpired before Anakin turned to the dark side. But for the average moviegoer, you probably won't care. The romantic subplot that takes up a good chunk of the movie is devoid of chemistry--this may be the most loveless romance I've seen in recent memory. Instead of desiring each other, they seem more to be re-enacting scenes from Armageddon and Titanic. And, frankly, you'll find yourself wishing you were watching those movies instead of this one.
But what does this all mean for the fanatic fan? Not much. For the most part, they'll feel they got what they came for--but for such fans of the series, it's strange why they don't seem to care the quality of showmanship has gone downhill so rapidly. Can anyone recall any scene in the first three episodes that talked about politics and warfare for more than five minutes? Here, those conversations take up at least half the movie. Fancy visuals can't quench the desire for some good duels or fights. On top of it all, R2-D2 has apparently been equipped with rocket boosters, which might have come in handy in the previous episodes (or is it later episodes?). These characters change at the whim of the filmmakers and plot. Notice a scene when Anakin informs Padme that he just slaughtered a bunch of aliens--despite her stature as a politician (and a proudly democratic one, at that), she seems amazingly unfazed by it.
It's at this point you almost demand that George Lucas turn the reigns over to another director--and another writer. Aside from the visual splendor, you have many actors trying to act in front of green screens. Ewan McGregor easily comes out unscathed, turning in a good performance as the wise Kenobi (he even hints at the sarcasm of Alec Guinness). Samuel L. Jackson has limited screen time, but makes a notable impression. And Christopher Lee does a decent job as Count Dooku. Natalie Portman, on the other hand, turns in her blandest performance to date (she even makes her performance in Episode I look good by comparison). But poor Hayden Christensen. Albeit giving a better performance than Jake Lloyd, the talented actor of Life as a House either doesn't know how to act in front of a green screen, or he was "forced" into his bad performance (my vote goes to the latter, since Lucas has full creative control over this thing). Jackson himself admits he often spent most of his time alone in front of a green screen--how do you act off other actors when they aren't even in the same room?
Jar-Jar. Remember him? The travesty that created so much hatred? He's here still, but on a much lesser scale. And there are small cherishable moments, such as when Padme shuts him up, or the fact that he haphazardly starts the clone war. We now also have a fully-CGI Yoda (and unlike Jar-Jar, he doesn't appear to be a CGI creation). This leads to the one truly great moment in Episode II, when all three Jedi (Anakin, Kenobi, and Yoda!) take on Count Dooku. This simple scene, which consists of mostly real-world elements (save Yoda himself) is thrilling, exciting, and unabashedly silly. But you don't care, because it's so much fun to watch. Many audience members leave the film remembering the final thirty minutes, and claiming it to be a good Star Wars film. Either they willed their memory of the first hundred minutes away, or A.D.D. is even worse than MTV claims it to be. Whichever the case, the final battles sparkle with energy. For me, this merely reflected how utterly boring the first two-thirds are. It's unfortunate, but does give a good sign that Episode III might just be the film we've been waiting almost two decades for.
So is thirty minutes of entertainment worth your money? Certainly not for the outrageous admission prices nowadays. This is one flick that will look beautiful on DVD, and its advised to wait for it there. Despite the Yoda-kicking-ass scene, there's almost nothing new here. The chase scene, highly reminiscent of The Fifth Element; the clash in a large coliseum brings memories of Gladiator back in full; and the large-scale battle with the clones seems to steal directly from all the other Star Wars movies. The only original scene occurs during a fight on a rain-stricken planet, as Jango Fett (Temuera Morrison) tries to escape Kenobi's light saber. Strangely, the movie is all build-up without payoff. Even the Yoda fight ends prematurely, without giving us the satisfaction of a climax. It's rather disappointing.
Star Wars: Attack of the Clones is rated PG for sustained sequences of sci-fi action/violence. It's suitable enough for children, who may be the only ones to find any enjoyment out of the movie. While this film is easily superior to Episode I, it still is hampered by the same problems--too little, too long. By the end of Episode II, Padme should have at least been pregnant with Leia and Luke, but she's only getting married. And by that time, you almost could care less. It's three more years before Lucas unveils his sixth (and apparently final) entry into the Star Wars saga--it seems far, far away, and yet I, for one, am not going to be awaiting with baited breath. Let's pray that Lucas finally gets it right before closing out his space opera.
| Rating: out of
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© 2002 Boyd Petrie |